Convenience and lies often feel safer than truth

This is an amazing comment by YOHAMI to my post Get off the death train

People don’t want to live, they want to survive, or more specifically, they want to feel safe. Comfort zones, convenience and lies often feel safer than truth. The well-known feels safer than the unknown. Then when exposed to truth – to the new, unknown, unexpected, inconvenient – all they get is a threat to their comfort zones and the self-identity they have already constructed, and they fight back. They fight truth back, they fight the new, the unknown, the unexpected, they fight the beauty, the now, the life, they die a little. They hold on to the inanimate.

To live is felt as dangerous because living stuff can die. The illusion of safety is that you won´t die. You’ll never die. You’ll be here forever. Your life has meaning. Even if you do die you’ll be somewhere watching aka, not dead. Or, the thought of the end of everything (hint, the end of “everything” is just reality, because that’s where our “everything” illusion ends, right here, right now) is pushed aside, it’s masked as something else, is discarded without consideration.

You can’t think seven generations ahead when you’re so busy hiding. You can’t even stop right now and ask a couple of right questions when you’re so busy trying to get your next fix of safety.

You are not your life story

“Briefly, for me, non-attachment to feelings and/or ideas is the ability to watch, feel and experience without believing the narrative that might accompany the feelings or the experience and then being able to respond if appropriate rather than reacting.

It’s about living in the moment and surrendering to the unknown.”

Monica Cassani

How true her words ring here, as if she was talking to me: I realize awestricken that
my feelings are telling me a very treacherous story about myself.

This is such a trap:

Will I continue listening and identifying with this false tale about who I am?

Whose drama am I living which calls itself “me”?

Most of us are the convicts of our life stories. With an iron grip, these ageless narratives keep us hopelessly stuck in dreams which are not our own.

I take it again: unbeknownst, we live out ancestral nightmares, which constantly
deprive us of directly experiencing our true individuality – Who We Truly Are.

This blind heritage has enormous power – no wonder, it has been inertially perpetuated through immemorial time – and if you are urged to live your true Life Story, you urgently need to break free from these haunting, faceless memories.

Easier said than done. The combat is not a “literal” one – it must take place on very deep levels in your soul. It is there, inside these elusive layers that your earthly destiny is decided. Thus, you have to delve in and take on the “fight” on the symbolic, archetypal plane, where our Fate is “sealed”.

In plain English:

You need an incredible lucidity, courage, sensitivity and determination to let go of and disindentify from the stories which give themselves to be “you”.

These narratives control you mainly through your feelings, and you need to have the
power to step back and question the truth of your emotions.

Defy all these phantoms which steal you from You.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR THOUGHTS.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR LIFE STORY.

Ask yourself lucidly:

“CAN I SURRENDER TO WHO I REALLY AM?”

About dissatisfaction and search for a solution

She:

I have a counter question for you. What would you say to a person who cannot find any solid reason for dissatisfaction while feeling it acutely, who searches for something without knowing what it is?

Me:

That is the hardest issue to come to terms with: to identify the seemingly un-identifiable.

Of course we can find innumerable reasons for feeling this acute dissatisfaction; but even if we knew and could clearly define what it is we are dealing with,
it would make no difference – the inner reality would still remain the same, the same discontent lurks invariably, and sooner or later we would still have to face it…

Easier said than done…I speak from own experience…

When it finds itself in pain, the mind is hardly searching for a way out of the problem, a solution… – but every solution the mind has in store, reinforces the inner conflict, as whatever solution is within the range of “the old,” every solution is with other words, constant reiteration of  ”the known”…Understand that whatever we know is old. Knowledge, and the instruments of our knowledge – definitions, names, rules, different approaches – are dead things…

Now – how can something old understand and validate something ever new and alive like your dissatisfaction…? Stay with my words for a second…and ponder…

It boils down to this: The mind is frantically searching to solve the problem It itself has created. It is like quenching the fire with fire. It is a paradox: Attempting intensely to find a solution, worsens the problem, as trying to solve it means escaping the problem…If you’re stuck  in quicksand the more you move the worse it gets…

So I come back to my initial question:

“Can I, can you – venture to lovingly confront and stay with this ache without trying to flee from it…?”

Staying with this ache in full awareness and non-selective Presence, is to be with the problem, sincerely and indiscriminately connecting to it, living with it, loving it like a wounded child…In due time, when understanding that it is no point in fleeing, you will hear something…Something like a whisper from inside, something very subtle which will give you spontaneous answers…It can be very simple things… – out of this intimate contact, the most common things will feel like wondrous novelty – a step, a glance, drinking a glass of water…it doesn´t matter what…

Don´t have any expectations yet, follow the process step by step for the time being.
After you have acquired the skill of unconditional inner listening, you will know undoubtedly what it all is about…

Don’t see your dissatisfaction like an impediment, – even if it´s hard – consider it your potential!