A dialogue about loneliness and approving of one´s Real Self

She:
I am very intimate with loneliness. It drains the life out of a person, destroys their self-esteem and confidence. At this point in my life, I feel close to no one. There is nobody I can be myself with. In fact I’m not really sure what “myself” is like anymore. I wear so many masks for so many different people, my true self has been lost in the layers. 

You are right in thinking that a lot of times people are scared, but you know what I think?

It is not fear of what you are going through rather a fear of having to do something about it, being involved, that stops them from connecting.  You know how I know that someone is not really interested in befriending me? Usually they repeat something to me as if it’s the first time they’ve told me. So I know for sure that they forgot our conversations since it was not important enough to them to remember. Does that make sense?

Me:
Of course it makes sense – I recognize so well what you say…

The thing is that most people usually lie about everything in their lives. Lying is about deluding oneself eventually… – constantly avoiding to directly experience reality. 

Of course you cannot be yourself, because there is hardly anyone to see
for real who you are, to vividly accept and appreciate you FOR WHAT YOU ARE.
How could they ever acknowledge you, when they live in constant mendacity as to
Who They Are, never being themselves, ever fleeing themselves?…

You wear these masks because you feel instinctively you cannot behave freely with those persons around you, and as they don´t see you, you don´t trust them…You seem to be a sensitive soul, but it´s about time TO TRUST AND APPROVE OF YOURSELF. To become strong in your sensitivity. 

I´ve realized lately how terribly lonely I was. I had to accept this fierce reality that I was really on my own. As nobody would heed me – my self-confidence and esteem being so low -, I finally understood that I have to start befriending myself: to throw away all masks, to embrace my solitude, to love and heed and approve of myself despite all pain, sorrows and shortcomings, to see and give myself WHAT I NEED. 

It´s all about this ongoing process, the most important step:

To dare listen to the child within. To start again, to let illusion die, and allow
the Real You recreate and reconstellate you.

Finally, I think also that what stops people from connecting, is their own fear to look within, the fear of delving into their own inner process. They are afraid of and avoid their own suffering, which they otherwise so well hide…

A few words to Adina

Our everyday drama, with all its afferent conflicts and frictions, is undoubtedly true. It is “real” insofar as we are totally caught up in it. We are the characters and the victims of our individual and collective story.

We are entirely identified with this mad story, unquestioningly giving it our fully unreserved attention.
It seems that we are utterly unable to see beyond our conditioned and narrow-minded perception.
WE ARE THIS PREDETERMINED FALSE PERCEPTION, indeed, that´s what we choose to believe we are…

Well, this vicious conditioning, this demented fight with everyone and everything – I repeat, this apparently unique and “real” everyday reality -, is nothing but our twisted perception of our conditioning …- an illusion, and nothing else.

I know what I’m saying now is hard and painful to digest, especially as we have invested ourselves totally
in this illusion – it is the kind of Life, we know so far.
As the water to fish, so is Illusion to us – the very air we breathe.

If you see and understand this clearly, this very comprehension will set you free.

When Illusion is seen as illusion, in that ineffable moment you will know
what Life is about…- a neutrally and joyfully pulsating second here and now, which immediately reveals itself to you.

You´ll simply feel it…

Dis-identifying from Illusion, will bring initially an unbearable vacuum and frustration,
but if you don´t give in, you will soon know that indescribable happiness and inner peace
which is the timeless and true Self.

It is the true and only reality, candidly simple yet all-pervading…
The incarnated Word – essence inexpressible in words …To gradually know the true
nature of Self, you don´t need to be a monk or a hermit…

You just need to have the courage and desire to see Illusion as illusion …

Me and Paul conversing

Me:

It´s a fact – most  people try to escape depression…

Paul:

Very true you can’t escape it!

For me though, this true Self is hard to find! I am not even so sure what it Is although I feel like I (should) already know.

Me:

If I said that the true Self is there all the time, for sure, that would sound cynical and preposterous, above all in those moments when you feel nothing but pain and inner despondency.

So Self is shining, but we don´t perceive it, due to our inner blockages. These blockages derive always from the illusion of separation, separation which has been yielded to us through the mother´s milk.

This present civilization lives in the shadow of the greatest illusion: separation, isolation and alienation from Self…I said that before – you couldn´t possibly be depressed if the civilization was “sane”. It is highly diseased.
Now…
I know that you know deep down of the existence of Self… – otherwise you wouldn´t have this present correspondence with me 🙂