What are we? Why are we here after all?

It’s actually a necessary hell to ask impossible questions…Yet, the whole point is to realize the blatant inappropriateness of human logic, and in due time, gradually experience the incredible relief and ease of not pondering anymore…

“In due time”? I beg to differ. ALL time is in the now. Change is instantaneous.


There is time – there is no time. There is a process of becoming – there is no process and no becoming.

To be concrete: Let´s say you want to play Rachmaninoff´s third piano concerto and you have never played the piano before. Albeit that time is always in the now, you will still need years to develop the skill which matches the difficulty of that piece.
The same with inner resistance or the inappropriateness of human logic: of course it can happen instantly, but despite that linearity and growth is a dream, it is a nevertheless a gradual process. For the record, let´s ask a Zen master, as to why he gives impossible questions – koans – to his disciples…

There is no learning as long as there is distinction

There really is a grain of reality based truth in the supposition of being aware of each moment in our lives (be here now) and not just letting it like grains of sand fall thru our grasp. I do know, before you throw your laptop thru the window at that response, that you ‘rather wickedly’ challenge us to recognize and acknowledge at all times and therefore ask, rather than tell, us to do the same. Hence – in your own way – you too are saying “be here now”,

Writing to you in this very moment – something which I obviously do – is Zen. With other words, I am totally engaged in this very act.

The moment I state that “Julien is writing to Stephen”, I am indulging in a huge untruth. Nota bene, I said “untruth” and not “lie”.

Why untruth?…

Cause as long as I state that I do whatever thing – cooking, playing the piano, flirting with a girl, or God knows what – I am already separating myself from that very experience. Can you see that?

This is not a supposition: To be aware, may mean exactly it: to let it all pass thru our grasp like grains of sand. I am not only I, but also the sand, likewise the passing thru…

In this way, when I am aware, I simply am aware of the totality of the whole process. With other words, Awareness is also aware of me. An unbroken dialogue of sorts…

Awareness is equal with Now, irrefutably so….The real problem begins when I say to anyone “Be aware!”….

If I do that – saying “be here” – not only that I separate you from the chance of being aware, but also divorce myself from the pervasive Truth. To paraphrase the Chinese, the Truth which is uttered, is no longer a truth. The Tao which can be named, is no longer Tao…

So of course…I may say the same thing.

But I wouldn´t dream of doing it, as I would break the tacit dialogue.

So instead, I will rather intimate it…;)

A zen question

What do you do when you neither go nor stay?


For the record, Zen fools around with “language”. Do not take literally each word. You really have to take the words you read apart, turn them upside down and inside out…that is Zen Mind.

Zen clears the mind of division. IT tells us to look at everything and anything, including people, the actions of people as a dream…a delusion. There is no inside or outside. Inside and outside are part of the One. Zen works a lot with deciphering language and feeling the present moment as it is. When we do not talk we can discern more clearly our self deceptions. Who is the ONE watching?

It is the Universal One looking at itself. Let us say it is the Mirror of All Encounters :)


Related article:


Stop looking for sense

Where intelligence ends, wisdom begins!

Get de-sensed… ;)

Godless Science and Organized Religion have crushed man´s soul

I am, what may be considered, a mystic.

If you are not acquainted with what mysticism is about, a mystic is essentially a person who has a direct understanding beyond the normally man-invented religions. Mysticism is the conscious awareness of the ultimate reality, divinity, or God, through direct experience, intuition, instinct or insight.

I was raised in the Christian Orthodox faith. But I don´t take this or any other creed for granted. I question every religious allegiance.

I definitely don´t ascribe any meaning to any dogma – the exoteric sense of every religion
is to me totally futile.

Now…I have pondered deeply over all these years.

I believe in Christ but not in Christianity. Intuitively I would totally discard this faith if it wasn´t for certain mystics like Meister Eckhart, Teresa of Avila or John of the Cross.

I am rather intimate with their writings and have found
meaningful answers in their words.

But throughout all these years, in the worst moments of crisis, none of them have been
of any real avail.
I had to face darkness on my own. The Christian precepts couldn´t save me. Only Zen, and above all Krishnamurti, have been my trustworthy companions in this dark night of the soul which – imagine – has been going on since I was 21.

First now, at 50, I am slowly coming out of it.

However, when I think of the Cathedral in Chartres, or, for that matter, other magnificent achievements in art or music in Europe ever since, I cannot possibly dismiss the very fact that the great spiritual legacy of Europe has directly derived from the Christian faith.

Undeniably, Europe and its culture is directly connected with Christianity.

Yet Christianity – I mean the very breath of it – is dead. Had it been alive, I wouldn´t have encountered this harsh darkness in my soul all these years.

Despite living in the “modern world”, never renouncing it, I somehow lived like a recluse, and God knows how I made it through. As I said, there was no one there to guide me.

Now, Faith is nothing you word about. It is a vivid breath, an ineffable emanation of sorts.
A presence…

And here I come to what I want to point out:

I saw this documentary about a Russian woman living by herself in the wilderness of Siberia. It is overwhelming: her simplicity, her strength and endurance, her otherworldly smile, depth and wisdom…Really, it was staggering, I have never somehow seen this kind of Light anywhere…except maybe in certain paintings of the grand masters.

To quote her: “The godless science which has crushed man´s soul“…

She is a vivid evidence that Christianity, beyond its dogmatic flaws, is not
some kind of superstitious concoct, but something very “real”.

And it is here that I come to bluntly disagree with Krishnamurti who claims that man has invented churches, rituals and gods, as being nonsense.

The deep essence of Christianity is indeed no figment of some deluded minds, even if,
more often than not, it appears to be that way.

The most difficult task is to dig so deep back to the sources, into its primordial “breath” without turning into a hermit.
Living in the world, but not being of this world… – inhumanly precarious predicament.


For the ones interested to watch the documentary:


In constantly seeking to actualize your ideal, you will have no time for composure

– Shunryu Suzuki-roshi

The Secret of Happiness

Have no preference

Dare have a strong identity

Be no one

Perfect nonsensical sense

What is the difference between a sunset?…

The word “water” will never quench your thirst